Preparing for New Year’s Resolutions, Part 3

I’ve got a future-me set up, and I have defined one of the traits I desire for him to possess. Now, I’m going to add one more trait to the list.

Day 3: Another aspect of the target

Once more, we’re going to take a half-hour to meditate, and once more it will be easier than it was yesterday. We’re going to start to notice that we can get relaxed and focused much more quickly, go deeper into our meditative state, and come out of it more relaxed and with greater willpower. This is only going to get better the more we meditate, which will make it easier to find time for our little sessions.

This time, when we call up the image of our future self, we have a vivid image of what he looks like and how he feels. Now, from my perspective, we’re going to add an aspect which I am constantly improving: my social skills.

I look at my future self, and I cannot fathom how he could be more physically attractive. However, when we insert him into a social situation, he needs to be properly attired. So, I create an image of my future self in several outfits: one casual outfit with jeans, one semi-professional outfit with linen pants, and one professional outfit with a suit and tie. In these images, I make sure that the clothing has a good-looking fit with appropriate coloring.

Now I can start to craft images of social situations which my future self finds himself in. In the casual outfit, perhaps he’s sitting in a coffee shop, surrounded by a group of interesting people. I see my future self having a good time, engaging everyone in the group and allowing them to tell their stories. He sits there, keeping the speaker(s) engaged by listening more than he speaks, matching their energy, and occasionally asking the deep questions that engage them further. He becomes the center of the group, the life of the party. And, as i watch all this unfold, I get inside his head and see how he views those around him. This is more expressed in feelings than in thoughts, but it gives me perspective on how I want to be in this sort of situation.

In the semi-professional outfit, perhaps I see myself on a date. Now I notice how my future self holds eye contact while the lass talks. I see him totally relaxed, leaning back in his chair like he is in total control of everything. When the waiter comes, he shifts his full attention to the waiter as he orders a drink for himself and his date. Perhaps he banters with the waiter for another moment, before the waiter leaves and the date attempts to wrest his full attention back. As she talks, he engages her much the same as the larger group I envisioned earlier, but his eye contact is stronger. I can continue this vision as long as I want, and I can imagine any number of scenarios, but the emphasis is on how this superior future me acts, thinks, and feels when these things happen.

Finally, in the professional attire, I am behind a desk. I am perhaps the manager for a division, or perhaps I am meeting with a client, or perhaps I’m dealing with something related to a startup business I’ve put together. In all of these situations, I’m interacting with someone else from a position of power and strength, but I work to keep them as relaxed as reasonable. I have strong eye contact, and I speak slowly. When the other person finishes speaking, there is a two-second pause while I formulate my response, which I deliver calmly and smoothly. At all times in the scenario, while I keep my statements soft and friendly, it is clear who holds the power in the room. My future mind in this scenario is extraordinarily interesting.

The purpose of this meditation is to train my mind to react in certain ways to certain situations. It turns out that our brains do a poor job of distinguishing between vivid illusion (such as dreams or visualizations) and reality. So, when I have bad thought patterns or habits, I can use meditation to correct the flaws.

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